BWOTW: 3/10/16 - 8/10/16

It's that time of the quarter-month, it's time to top-up this little thing of mine I call 'Noah's Best Wrestling of the Week' AKA 'Patrick Clark, The Fuck Are You Doing?'

Rich Swann begins to regret his newest Tinder date

TNA has found some funding! Bound for Glory happened it appears they have the funds to at least see us through to 2016's end. The jammy bastards have figured a way out again. As always, let's first take a gander at the stories that made the headlines this week. There ain't a whole lot;

1. Looks like we might be edging our way closer to a Goldberg return, and most probably against Lesnar. Though I dunno if the match will be any good, fuck me how great is that pop gonna be?
2. Luke Harper has returned at a WWE live event in Chile. Yeahyeahyeahyeeeeaaaaah
3. It appears Diamond Dallas Page, DDP, will be the next to get a WWE made documentary. I've met the man and he told me to stay in school and don't do drugs, I feel I'm doing him proud so far.
4. Sami Callihan (FKA Solomon Crowe) has debuted in Lucha Underground, but I think his name is Jeremiah now? I don't remember, but it ain't Sami.
5. More Dusty Classic teams have been announced!:

• Rich Swann & No Way Jose (No Way Can I Handle This)
• Ho Ho Lun & Bin Wang
• The Bollywood Boys
• Austin Aries and a Mystery Partner (ooooo who could it be? My money's on D'lo Brown)
• Lince Dorado & Mustafa Ali
• Drew Gulak & Tony Nese 
• SAnitY

And now for the glaze of this wrestling blog doughnut, it's the matches!

Monday Night RAW

Best Match on RAW (3/10/16): TJ Perkins vs Brian Kendrick 
Honourable Mentions: Rich Swann vs Tony Nese, Sasha Banks vs Charlotte - RAW Women's Championship Match

I'M THE MAN WITH THE PLAN! 

Cruiserweights, man. You gotta love 'em. We're back on RAW and this week we got the match-up of Brian Kendrick taking on the Cruiserweight Champion, TJ Perkins.

Lots of high octane, speedy action that has become synonymous with the Cruiserweight division. Kendrick continued his streak of being a right nasty bastard. The high point of his bastardness came when he trapped the hand of Perkins in the turnbuckle itself, and fuck me the torque on that wrist looked pretty damn brutal. I'm loving Kendrick's unique use of the ring itself as a weapon, so smart. 

The climax saw Kendrick lock on The Captain's Hook choke hold one last time after some shady shit in the form of a rake to the eyes, and was positioned in such a way that Perkins was forced to tap. Really nice match here, not sure whether it topped their match at Clash of Champions, but it was still pretty damn good. Looks like we might be getting these two again at Hell in a Cell for the title.

And, I just have to mention how fucking cool Charlotte's corkscrew moonsault was (it was pretty fucking cool).

SmackDown! LIVE

Best Match on SD! (4/10/16): The Hype Bros. (Zack Ryder & Mojo Rawley) vs The Vaudevillains (Aiden English & Simon Gotch)

SmackDown!, SmackDown!, SmackDown!, for the love of fuck stop dicking around with these matches, not all matches need shit to go on. 

Anyway, out of what we did get, the best was probably the tag team contest between The Hype Bros. versus The Vaudevillains.

Mojo, whether you like it or not. did his fucking 'Hammer Time' thing again which was just...fucking hell its stupid guys alright? However, he did make up for it when he released his inner Monty Brown and nearly murdered English by hitting the P-O-U-N-C-E POUNCE!

A Hype-Ryder would bring an end to this match. It was alright, yknow? Had its moments.

SmackDown!, booking storylines, you're doing pretty great, AJ as champ, love it, but fuck me guys put on some better matches.

NXT

Best Match on NXT (5/10/16): Cedric Alexander & Andrade 'Cien' Almas vs The Revival (Dash Wilder & Scott Dawson)

Here comes the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic! As well as the first round match of The Authors of Pain versus The Bollywood Boyz (guess who won that one), we got this sweet competition between the team of Cedric Alexander and Andrade 'Cien' Almas taking on the Top Guys, The Revival. 

We started off hot and quick, with the duo of Almas and Alexander getting the upper hand and whipping the tag team champions with a whole host of arm drags to get us going. However, the old-school wrestling techniques of The Revival would gain them the upper hand, targeting focus on the shoulder of Cedric. The best thing about the Revival is that because they embrace the basic, they can mesh with anyone to put on a great match with essentially everyone.

One of the coolest moments of the match was Almas's relaxing on the ropes in combo with a stellar tope con hilo by Alexander (landing on his goddamn feet to boot);

The double team manoeuvres didn't end there, because the end was spectacular. Now, the Shatter Machine is a super cool finisher normally, but when you get the set-up of it like they did here, it becomes amazingly super cool. What we got was Cedric trying to outlast the tandem, only to succumb to the Top Guys.

(I did have a gif but for some reason it's fucking gone. Fuck sake)

This was a great match right here, and from the looks of things we should be getting some more awesome Tag Team Classic matches in the coming weeks. 

Ring of Honour

Best Match on ROH TV (Episode 263): The Bullet Club (The Young Bucks (Matt & Nick Jackson), Adam Page & Yujiro Takahashi) vs The Motor City Machine Guns (Alex Shelley & Chris Sabin), ACH & Lio Rush

We're onto the Field of Honour tapings now, so a purchase of the event probably isn't that necessary. This episode had two good championship matches of Bobby Fish versus EVIL (ROH TV Championship) and Michael Elgin against Donovan Dijak (IWGP Intercontinental Championship). However, it was the main event of The Bullet Club versus the team of the Motor City Machine Guns, Rush and 'Super' ACH.

With this being an ROH 8-man, you could bet your house this would be a high-paced, action packed match-up, especially after looking at those involved. 

Now, I'm gonna keep on singing my praises of Lio Rush because this man is a fucking star. The sheer speed and crispness of his moves is just amazing, he did two successive suicide dives across opposite sides of the ring at one point and fuck me the velocity of his movements was insane. It made me realise that I really want Lio in PWG sometime soon.

We got some real cool quadruple teams from the ROH All-Stars, just fucking murdering Nick Jackson in the corner with 4 dropkicks and enziguris at once. Plus, just MCMG's tag offence alone was sure to deal some substantial damage. 

It appears that 'Super' ACH isn't just a change in name, with him busting out some cool new shit! Just when you think ACH cant be more entertaining, he only goes and becomes more awesome.

Whilst it's a bit tough to remember all the high spots and excitement, the end did stand out. In the same light as the Styles Clash/Double Superkick Combo, we got a Rite of Passage form Page accompanied by two kicks of the super kind to seal the deal and pick up the pinfall.

This was a pretty great match, the sort of speedy and non-stop action we've come to know and love about multi-man matches in Ring of Honour. With it being shot outside and at night with the lighting of a baseball field, some of the camera angles looked a bit off. I dunno whether its my memory or what but I can hardly remember Yujiro anything really. But there's really not much to complain about.

SUPERKICK COUNT: 11 (includes 1 Jackson-on-Jackson kick)

Lucha Underground

Best Match on LU (S3E5): Prince Puma vs Matanza - Lucha Underground Championship Match

As a result of 'Dario's Dial of Doom', we got this title match between Prince Puma (AKA Ricochet) challenging 'The Monster' Matanza. 

We've got the straight up power and size of Matanza paired with Puma's speed and agility, which made for some pretty cool action. With Puma being no stranger to a flip or two, he'd sell some of Matanza's attacks like a ragdoll, backflipping to the ground after a shoulder tackle or a clothesline, that sort of thing. Whilst some might think that sort of stuff is a bit much, I really like it, gives wrestling, especially in the context of LU, a more abnormal and extraordinary.

Like I said, Matanza had the obvious strength advantage, but that didn't stop Prince Puma from flexing him muscles and pulling off some big power moves. Matanza, as noted by Vampiro and Matt Striker on commentary, weighs around 270 lbs, and Puma deadlifted this motherfucker into a suplex, then followed that up with a bridging Northern Lights suplex. Incredible stuff. 

The ending had a bit of a kerfuffle, with Mil Muertes interfering and laying Puma out after he had connected with a 630 senton, which was bloody good I tell ya. This allowed Matanza to pick up what was left and finish him with the 'Wrath of the Gods' reverse-spin scoop powerslam, which was accompanied with a pop up, making it a few times more cooler than normal. Screwy finish, but a great match overall.  

The Verdict

Best Match of the Week: Prince Puma vs Matanza - Lucha Underground Championship Match

That's right, Puma/Matanza was the winner this week, though I was pretty torn between that, the Ring of Honour 8-man tag, and the NXT tag match as well. They were all great, but I just felt that the Lucha Underground match had a lot more to offer in terms of story and psychology, with Puma's trial to bring the big man down and reclaim the gold, plus the Muertes interference also played in to that.

Welp, with that one now 'on the list' that just about wraps us up for this week, with the matches all recorded and jotted down, this is how the leaderboard shapes up nowadays.

Hope you guys enjoyed it, sorry it's a tad late again, who'd have though sixth form would be so tiring? Anywho, hope your weeks are filled with love, joy, happiness and at least one good German Suplex. Catch ya later!