The Pre-Show
Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
It's the fourth annual ARMBAR (Andre Roussimoff Memorial BAttle Royal), at least that's what I call it anyway. Usually, WWE likes to make sure as many people as possible get a WrestleMania payday, and this has tended to take the form of such a battle royal. That typically means that those taking part are those who otherwise don't have anything going on, generally the lower card members of the rosters.
This year, there seems to be a certain few that have had advertised interest in the trophy. Braun Strowman has made his intents of victory known, Sami Zayn has expressed his desire to win it for the recently fired Mick Foley, Dolph Ziggler and Mojo Rawley have had a bit of a back and forth about it too. NXT roster member Tian Bing is set to appear (the word being to appeal to WrestleMania's new Chinese audience this year), plus, last year had a couple surprise entrants; 90s wrestler Tatanka, an inductee in this year's Hall of Fame class, Diamond Dallas Page, and even fucking Shaquille O'Neal.
So, I'd say expect just a big ol' brawl. I should imagine Strowman is gonna be the King Kong on this Skull Island, throwing people every which way, and I'd probably say he's my pick.
Neville (c) vs Austin Aries - WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Fuck me why is this on the pre-show? This was, and still is, my most anticipated match on this card. Neville returned at the Roadblock: End of the Line event in December, staking his claim as the new big bad of the Cruiserweight division. With a new mean streak and holier-than-thou attitude, becoming the self proclaimed 'King of the Cruiserweights'. In just over a month after returning, he destroyed Rich Swann to become the champion and has decimated every challenger since.On March 6th, Austin Aries officially became an active member of the cruiserweight division, attacking Neville. This quickly turned into a full fledged rivalry, with harsh exchanges of words, Aries proclaiming that whilst Neville is a fantastic competitor, he is not on his level (the A-Double level).
What I love about this is that these two have not faced each other in any capacity in the lead up to this, and both these guys have been putting on really good matches in the time being. So, I am hopeful that we are gonna get an absolute top dollar match up here. Since debuting on the main roster, Aries hasn't had much opportunity to show his full in-ring capabilities, so I'm hoping we get to see him really shine in this one. All I'm expecting is a great match.
The Main Show
Alexa Bliss (c) vs Mickie James vs Natalya vs Becky Lynch vs Carmella vs Naomi - SmackDown! Women's Championship Match
It went from the main card to the pre-show then back to main show because Twitter complained or something. In my opinion, the build to this hasn't been great. Naomi had won the title at February's Elimination Chamber event, but then had to vacate it due to injury, followed by Alexa Bliss becoming champion again. Then we pretty much got told that all available women were going to compete for the title at WrestleMania. Not the most dramatic of builds, with the past few weeks being a bunch of all these women beating each other up in and out of the ring. Naomi returned on SmackDown! this past week bumping up this match to having 5 competitors. As far as I'm aware, there isn't a stipulation to this match, so I'm assuming its one fall to a finish. Don't really know what to make of this, it should be good, SmackDown!'s women's roster is superior to the RAW counterpart in my opinion, so I hope they put on a nice match.
The Club (Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson) (c) vs Enzo & Cass vs Sheamus & Cesaro - RAW Tag Team Championship - Ladder Match
I've just noticed Karl Anderson has a guitar tattooed on his arm. Cool.
Looking at the RAW Tag Team Championship Match now, and we've got what the continuation of the recent trend of having a big ol' ladder match at 'Mania. The Club have been champions since the Royal Rumble in January, having defeated Sheamus and Cesaro on the pre-show. In the build to this, Enzo and Cass initially were the lone challengers, but the story led to the former champions being inserted in the match after earning their way in. The past few RAWs have seen some attacks to everyone involved, with The Club being on the offensive more than anyone. Sheamus got a deep cut after being clattered by a ladder requiring stitches, in the process.
In this, I imagine this to be a pretty thick and fast match up with some sore looking moments with ladders and flesh combining in sick poetry. I feel like Sheamus and Cesaro are going to be key in helping this match flow lovingly. I can't really remember big men having a good hand in keeping things together in these multi-man ladder matches, so Gallows and Cass might feel more cumbersome than usual. Enzo is probably going to take some spills in this, so be sure to keep him in your prayers. Regardless, I love big ladder matches, so this is likely to entertain me greatly.
Bayley (c) vs Charlotte vs Sasha Banks vs Nia Jax - RAW Women's Championship - Elimination Match
Jesus what has been going on with this title picture?
So, as a general recap, after 'hot potato'-ing the title with Sasha for what seemed forever, Charlotte was established as the top woman on RAW. Then Bayley won it on some RAW in February, then went on to end Charlotte's Pay-Per-View undefeated streak by retaining it at Fastlane, both times with Sasha helping her win. As it panned out, it was going to be Charlotte and Bayley at 'Mania, then Sasha beat Charlotte to earn a spot, then Nia moaned about being left out and beat Bayley to earn her spot. So its a fatal-four-way, later being made into an elimination stipulation.
I'm not massively hyped for this, which is a shame considering the high note the Women's Championship had at last year's show. The potential of Sasha reverting to the bad side could be interesting. Nia's 'HOLY SHIT SHE'S BIG' shtick will be in full effect I presume, and Charlotte is always reliable to put on a great performance on these calibre stages. I can't really think what way they're going with this. A Bayley retention could be in the cards for a nice feel good moment, or a heel turning Sasha Banks could mark a pivotal change in the division going forward, who knows. Just gonna have to watch and see.
The Intercontinental Championship is on the line with the reigning champion Dean Ambrose defending against 'The Lone Wolf' Baron Corbin.
Corbin debuted on the main roster at last year's WrestleMania, winning the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal. Since then he's worked on cementing himself into a key role, especially since the brand split last summer. He's challenged for the belt before, and has even challenged for the WWE World Championship, being portrayed as a serious contender to that. With an impressive display at the Royal Rumble, he's been picking up speed in 2017.
Dean Ambrose has held the championship since January, winning it on the first SmackDown! of the year, prior to that being involved in the WWE World Championship picture. Being one of the big names SmackDown! has, only behind John Cena and AJ Styles I'd say, Dean is prominent member of the roster.
These two have started butting heads lately, with Corbin setting his sights on the championship around Dean's waist. Having attacked him backstage and with a forklift of all things, this rivalry quickly became very physical. From this match, I expect both these wrestlers to go out their looking to prove a point. Corbin wants to stake his claim as a top guy on SmackDown!, and Ambrose is surely looking to prove himself as a top guy in all of WWE. I expect these two to go hard in this, with a card crammed with matches looking to set themselves apart and prove their worth, I hope these this match is one we'll be talking about.
John Cena & Nikki Bella vs The Miz & Maryse
I'd say the most personal and hottest rivalry on the show, John Cena teams with his girlfriend Nikki Bella to take on the husband and wife duo of The Miz and Maryse. Over the past few weeks, shots have been fired back and forth, with the separation of reality and story becoming incredibly blurred. Talking Smack has seen so many incredible promos from The Miz, and he is doing some of his best work in this current run. Cena has also been having some of the best work of his career happen in recent years, both on the mic and in the ring.
As for the match itself, I have no idea how it will play out, I'm just interested to see how they go about it. I'm not expecting a show-stealer or anything like that, but with such a dramatic and volatile story, I'm invested.
Chris Jericho (c) vs Kevin Owens - WWE United States Championship
Oh my God the most tragic story of all. JeriKO was formed many months ago, with the two announcing themselves as best friends. This relationship bloomed in full effect once Owens became the WWE Universal Champion shortly after SummerSlam. For the next few months, he and Jericho would do whatever they could to ensure that belt remained in his possession, with underhanded tactics used to defeat the challengers of Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns over that run. Jericho would claim Reigns' United States title as his own and in consequence, completing his list of WWE championships. Every title that Jericho could win, he has, with this US title rounding it all off.
Tension started to run high once Goldberg started gunning for the Universal Championship. Jericho accepted the challenge without Owens' consent, and over the weeks, things would hit some bumps in the road. On February 13th, Jericho looked to bolster their friendship, hosting the 'Festival of Friendship' to honour Kevin. Gifts were given, grand displays of love made, it was beautiful. It was then that Owens struck. Disguising hatred as a gift, Owens mauled Jericho, unrelenting and merciless. In early March, Owens faced Goldberg at Fastlane. Jericho distracted Owens as the bell rang and cost him the match. Looking for revenge, Owens now challenges Jericho for his United States Title.
I am really looking forward to this match. It's Owens' first one-on-one WrestleMania match and I expect him to be going balls to the wall. Jericho can still pull out some great performances (thanks to his good friends at DDPYoga). This should be a great watch, when these guys have got such a rich story to use and call upon, I wouldn't be surprised if this steals the show.
Seth Rollins vs Triple H - Unsanctioned Match
In the process of Owens winning the Universal Title, Seth Rollins was cheated out of it by his opponent, Triple H. This is quite a lengthy story, so please, bare with me.
After taking Rollins under his wing, getting him to join The Authority and turn his back on The Shield in 2014, Triple H guided Rollins to becoming WWE World Champion at WrestleMania 31, and enabled him to have a lengthy reign. Rollins injured his knee in November of 2015, and wouldn't return until May 2016. As mentioned, Rollins was on the cusp of winning the WWE Universal Championship in August, only for Triple H to Pedigree him and lay him out for the count. Between then and the past couple of months, Seth had little chance to get back at Triple H, until he started interfering with his life once more.
Rollins lost the chance to compete in the Royal Rumble due to a distraction of Trip's iconic 'The Game' theme blaring, as if an appearance imminent. In retaliation, Rollins invaded his creative baby; NXT. At TakeOver: San Antonio, Rollins interrupted the show and called out Triple H. The two would finally be in the same place one again, only for security to be sent to remove Rollins. The following RAW, Triple H would appear and address Rollins, calling him a failure, having failed him in injury and that without him he'd be nothing. Just when Seth looked to finally step toe-to-toe with the man, he would be assaulted by a debuting Samoa Joe, and re-injuring his knee in the process.
It was up in the air whether he would be fit to compete at 'Mania, but he was adamant he was to face Triple H at the event. Despite seemingly recovering, Triple H has been attacking Rollins repeatedly, targeting the bad knee. A 'Hold Harmless Agreement' was signed on RAW, basically saying that Triple H/WWE couldn't be held liable for any injuries and damage sustained by Rollins at 'Mania, making this an Unsanctioned Match - essentially No Holds Barred type of deal.
What I expect from this is a big ol' slugfest, an all out melee. It's gonna be a match with Trips and Rollins making full use of the unsanctioned nature. Expect weapons aplenty and lots and lots of brutality.
Shane McMahon vs AJ Styles
Between WrestleMania 32 and now, AJ Styles has had hands down the best year in the WWE. Beating John Cena at SummerSlam, becoming WWE World Champion at Backlash and being the SmackDown! LIVE flag-bearer, he has had a lot of success. After losing the belt at the Royal Rumble and being unsuccessful in winning back in the Elimination Chamber, he became increasingly frustrated that he had yet to receive a fair rematch. Then as we got closer to WrestleMania and Styles had yet to have a match scheduled for the biggest show of the year, these feelings developed. Frustrations would be directed at management, frustration directed at Shane McMahon, frustration that would turn to violence.
Styles assaulted Shane in the parking lot, irate at his lack of opportunity, and would consequently be fired by General Manager, Daniel Bryan. However, Shane would reinstate him, insisting that he now had a WrestleMania opponent; Shane McMahon. These two have thrown fists over the weeks, putting each other through announce tables, but they did manage to keep a contract signing to just words.
In terms of what to expect, I wholeheartedly believe AJ Styles is the very best wrestler in the world. I am sure he can make up for whatever shortcomings Shane may have. That's not to say that Shane can't go, because he can. Its a safe bet that he will again be trying to self destruct, either diving off something, through something or being willing to take murderous moves. Whatever it is, I'm sure this will be an exciting watch.
The Undertaker vs Roman Reigns
Whose yard is it?
At the Royal Rumble, The Undertaker was eliminated by Roman Reigns, who said to him 'This is my yard now' or something to that effect. Then in March, Braun Strowman calls out Reigns, The Undertaker answers. Strowman leaves then Roman appears, who would then be chokeslammed. This match was announced, with Roman later spearing 'Taker.
That's pretty much it. I don't know what to expect. Rumour has it this might be Taker's last 'Mania, and whilst I'd want him to come out on top, I can see WWE giving Reigns the victory. Undertaker didn't look to be in the best of shapes at the Rumble, hopefully he's in good shape for Sunday. In the end, its an Undertaker WrestleMania match, it has to be good at least, no?
Goldberg (c) vs Brock Lesnar - WWE Universal Championship
Universal Championship up for grabs here. This started at Survivor Series, when WWE couldn't help themselves but tell you 'FANTASY WARFARE BECOMES REAL' as Goldberg was set to face Brock Lesnar. In less than a minute, The Beast fell to the WCW icon, embarrassing him.
Next stop was the Royal Rumble, with both of these men having a spot in the marquee match. Lesnar was in the ring waiting for Goldberg, and once again, Lesnar was defeated as Goldberg pretty much instantly eliminated him. On RAW, Goldberg was issued a challenge by Lesnar; one more time, one-on-one at 'Mania. Goldberg accepted. Meanwhile, Golderg challenged for the Universal Championship at Fastlane. Again, he won the match in a matter of seconds. Thus, this match is now for the championship. Then its pretty much been a war of words, and Goldberg speared Lesnar on RAW.
I'm going into this expecting spectacle over substance. That said, I'm gonna say its goes a few minutes at least. I am looking forward to Goldberg's entrance though, think of all the pyro he's gonna walk through.
Bray Wyatt (c) vs Randy Orton - WWE World Championship
It's the big kahuna now, WWE World Championship match between the reigning champ, Bray Wyatt and the 2017 Royal Rumble winner, Randy Orton.
This goes back to August, where after Randy's match with Lesnar at SummerSlam, he was targeted by Wyatt. After Wyatt defeated him at No Mercy as well as costing him matches on SmackDown!, Orton decided to align himself with Bray, citing the old proverb 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em'. As a pair, the two would be the deciding victors in the 'SmackDown! vs RAW' Survivor Series match, and would also claim the tag team championships. The later loss of these belts was the beginning of the dissolution of the Wyatt family.
Harper was disowned by Bray, urged by Randy, in the lead to the Royal Rumble. As said, Randy won the Rumble, and at the Elimination Chamber, Bray Wyatt won the WWE World Championship. Although this set up Orton/Wyatt at 'Mania, Randy refused to fight Bray, declaring undying loyalty. Things seemed all happy and dandy between the two, until Orton interrupted one of Bray's promos, appearing on the tron from the Wyatt compound. He stated that this was not his home and set it ablaze with the intent to burn the soul of Sister Abigail, then saying that he will face Wyatt at 'Mania. In defeating AJ Styles in a Number 1 Contender's Match, it was confirmed.
This match has had probably the most intriguing story to set this up, really playing the long con with the telling of it. Should be great match too, a lot they could play with. Harper doesn't have anything going on at 'Mania as far as I'm aware, so perhaps he might play a role. Either way, I'm looking forward to this.
Right, well, I hope that's cleared things up for anyone who wanted some background on WrestleMania 33. I also hope that it has spurred on those with no/minor/mild interest to watch to do so. If so, time to put on my corporate shill coat and proclaim that you can start your free month of the WWE Network following this link. Sunday night is when this bad boy takes place, but it will be on-demand immediately afterwards for anyone looking to not disturb their sleep cycle too much. For those that do watch any of it, let me know what you think, I'd love to hear your opinions!
I know I'm looking forward to this, no matter the flaws and discrepancies I have. Why? Because its Wrestle-Fucking-Mania after all. Its the most wonderful time of the year, for me at least.
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